It has been four years since the events of the last movie. The Autobot-Human alliance has officially ended. An elite CIA unit called Cemetery wind (where do they come up with these names?) has been tasked with hunting down the remaining Decepticons. However the team has a hidden agenda.
Enter failed inventor, Cade Yeager (Mark Whalberg) and his daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz). Cade is a single parent and like all responsible parents, Cade is looking to put his daughter through college fixing his neighbours’ broken tape recorders and selling scrap. During one of his Salvage hunter expeditions, he buys a beat up truck which turns out to be a Transformer.
Meanwhile, a corporation called KSI, headed by Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci) is working to replicate Transformer technology for military use.
No matter how you dress it, the movie is bad. Sure if you are into mindless explosions and cheesy dialogues, then the movie might be your kind of thing but I can’t imagine anyone who has any kind of taste for movies walking out of the theatre with anything good to say about the movie. The CG is great as usual but it is nothing you haven’t seen in the previous three movies.
The plot is essentially a rehash of the previous movie: Humans giving up on Autobots. Autobots not giving up on humans. Hidden military agenda. Fights. Explosions. Slo-mo-people-thrown-out-o-autobot-mid-air-transformation-catch-them-in-the-nick-of-time sequence. More explosions. China. Mindless mayhem. Optimus Prime’s final message. Cut to credits.
One would think that 165 million would buy you a better script writer. Wrooong! The studio brought back, Ehren Kruger, the same guy who wrote the ‘story’ for the previous two movies.
I guess the U.S military declined to sponsor Bay this time so some of the really cool military tech scenes from the previous movies are missing. Instead, half the movie is set in Hong Kong with random Chinese actors appearing along the way for no apparent reason. The movie is essentially sponsored by the Peoples republic of China.
As if that wasn’t enough, there is shameless product placement by Red Bull, Bud lights, Beats and Victoria’s secret. And they are in no way subtle.
Accompanying Prime are three new Autobots; Drift, who for some unknown bizzare reason looks (and talks) like a Japanese Samurai. He transforms into a Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport Vitesse for Gods sakes. A Bugatti. It’s an Italian car. What were they thinking? John Goodman voices Hound, an Oshkosh defence MTV, Cross hairs, an autobot paratrooper voiced by John DiMaggio and everyone’s favourite, Bumble Bee.
Stanley Tucci, you poor man, what sort of madness made you agree to this role? Although, in his defence, he does deliver the only line in the movie that made the audience laugh.
A Transformer named Lockdown serves the role of the primary villain. Lockdown is essentially a bounty hunter travelling the galaxy looking for bad ass transformers to collect for his trophy case. Beginning to connect the dots now?
Poor editing, cringe worthy dialogues and a non existent script makes this one movie you can definitely miss. The Studio should really look for a new director and script writer if they are thinking of making any more of these movies.
The One Review Rating: 3/10
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2109248/